I know, I know.
I would be sure to update every week, but I would not be honest, I am a born coward! I'm good at starting things, but I am unable to follow the regular schedule of the thing. This being my blog, I'm here, somewhat late, but I'm here.
I do not know where to start really.
If I'm fine? It can go. Say that the month of April was pretty intense emotions negative.
I think I feel the need to write on my blog when I was too full and I did not want to get into the habit. I never know who reads my blog recently, I was unable to attend the update.
Han So what? I am who I am. An eternal whiners living in up & down.
I will also celebrate my 26th birthday and I feel the same thing last year before having my quarter-century. I feel like it was yesterday. Time goes by so fast and I have experienced anything more than last year, however, even less. It as if my life had to take a platonic rhythm, a routine too dull to say the least.
I was talking about it lately and I thought that I had not had my period "rebel", my teenage crisis ... Not that I feel the need to do, but it seems that some me is older than the other so I'm unbalanced system. My circle of friends has an average age of about 32 years ... I say 25 years. My friends have children, I'm not a boyfriend, I'm not a car, I'm not ...
So yes, I feel like a loser who has nothing in life except his ESTIF character.
I moved with my sister July.
I would jump for joy.
I would be happy with this change.
So stupid it's going out, I'm going through a bereavement. A grief that takes me directly into the guts, a mourning that I thought less hard, less destabilizing ... a mourning that would eventually pass.
My sister, I love, I love him more than anyone, I could give each of my organs to save her, in short, you understand?
... But I feel worse by going live with it, I feel that I step back, I cut myself that I could live.
And I saw the intense grief of changing neighborhoods. That it's awful. I lived thinking I should do, but that's painful. I am trying to write and I have tears in their eyes. I feel good here. I feel free when I walk on Mount Royal with my sunglasses because I just want to do, I can walk from my work at home, which saved me from killing several colleagues because I felt more zen with air in the brain, because I have greatly succeeded in keeping my stop nicotine through my 2 hour walk a day ... Because I do not want to move away . Because yes, it's far for me. It degrades
having to take the subway go to work. It's degrading to have to start painting my stock and baling for the 3rd consecutive year.
When I signed my lease, I tried to convince me that this was the best thing to do and then I regret bitterly. Really and truly, I regret it.
is mourning. A confused and grief that is stressing me, bereavement, which I hope will happen before I hate my new life as much as I hate myself and degrade.
And recently, I felt like a new species. A girl can hurt. A girl who has ruined the life of a person without necessarily taking consciousness. Feelings, it does not and especially not in terms of love and even less knowing that the other is in love. I do not even know how to defend myself, how to realize this. I would be able to say that this will be reciprocal, but if it was not the case, I did not waste any more of the other life? I do not know what to do and as I am an impulsive girl, I can not respond immediately to attacks received word this week because he's right. He drew the exact line of my sketch, the girl that I can be naughty, girl and wounding perfect, girl on the defensive, which is not able to commit, one that would win a medal for his sarcasm ... So hell yeah, it's me. He hit the mark.
Well ... uh ... like scrapbooking pages? Scrapbooking.
The quality is lousy, sorry!
Otherwise, I'm in love with True Blood!
It's clear that I should live in the world of vampires in another life, or even be one! I had worse kill estique!
Tuesday evening at Miss Villeray with cops, it was also very nice:
I am also in love with .. . CANADIANS !!!!!!! (CAM-MA-RI-LLE)
I was fortunate to be at the Bell Centre yesterday, during the 7th game, with Véro85 was euphoria, the total lack of class (issshhh already that I have very little in normal times). I cried, screamed, drooling at the same time. I held the metal bar so hard that I felt my fingers were going to stay there. I yelled, sacred singing ... It was a memorable evening!
I cling to the little pleasures because currently, the general happiness, I can not. And who knows, maybe I'm made for little pleasures like that too! :)
There:
- I will choose paint colors ...
- I Auntie will be, my best-friend-big-sister is pregnant
- My couz will give birth to another little chip in July
- The summer holidays are coming
- It's getting hot
- I accept offers outings and meeting new people ...
Oh I try very hard
:)
Please if you are still there) I'm not relaxing, I know! Go
hop, Eli is going to watch Grey's Anatomy!
XxX
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